.Editor's Note: The adhering to is the text of a character from Expedition 3 Leader Frank L. Culbertson (Leader, USN Retired), reflecting on the occasions of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I have not created significantly about specifics of this purpose in the course of the month I have actually been actually listed below, mainly for two explanations: the 1st being that there has been quite little bit of opportunity to accomplish that type of creating, and secondly given that I am actually not sure how pleasant I am sharing notions I share with family and friends with the rest of the planet.Properly, certainly the world altered today. What I state or perform is very minor reviewed to the value of what happened to our nation today when it was actually attacked through ... by whom? Revolutionaries is all we understand, I guess. Challenging to understand at whom to guide our rage as well as anxiety ...I had just finished a variety of duties this morning, the absolute most time-consuming being actually the physical exams of all workers members. In a personal discussion adhering to that, the flight surgeon told me they were having a very poor day on the ground. I possessed no concept ...He illustrated the condition to me as ideal he knew it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was shocked, after that alarmed. My very first notion was actually that this had not been a true chat, that I was actually still listening closely to one of my Tom Clancy tapes. It just didn't appear feasible on this scale in our country. I could not also visualize the details, also prior to the headlines of additional devastation started can be found in.Vladimir visited rather swiftly, picking up that one thing very serious was actually being reviewed. I waved Michael into the module as well. They were additionally blown away and also stunned. After our experts signed off, I tried to discuss to Vladimir and Michael as finest I could the prospective measurement of the show of terror in midtown New york as well as at the Government. They accurately recognized and were very thoughtful.I glanced at the Globe Chart on the computer system to see where over the globe our experts were and also discovered that our team were actually coming southeast out of Canada and would certainly be passing over New England in a couple of minutes. I zipped around the terminal up until I located a home window that would give me a viewpoint of NYC as well as got the nearby cam. It took place to become a camera, and I was actually appearing south coming from the home window of Michael's log cabin.The smoke appeared to have an odd bloom to it at the base of the pillar that was streaming south of the metropolitan area. After reviewing among the news articles we merely acquired, I think our company were checking out NY around the amount of time of, or not long after, the failure of the 2nd tower. Just how awful ...I scanned the cam all along the East Shore to the south to see if I could see any other smoke around Washington, or anywhere else, however nothing at all was visible.It was actually quite difficult to deal with job after that, though our experts possessed some to do, yet on the upcoming orbit our company moved across the US more southern. All three people were actually functioning 1 or 2 video cameras to attempt to acquire views of The big apple or even Washington. There was actually haze over Washington, yet no details resource can be observed. Everything appeared unbelievable coming from 2 to 3 hundred miles away. I can't envision the terrible scenes on the ground.Other than the mental impact of our country being attacked and also countless our people as well as possibly some good friends being gotten rid of, the most overwhelming sensation being actually where I am is just one of seclusion.Upcoming day ... I suspect the tiredness and also mental tension got the most effective of me. I could not keep awake as well as remain to write. Today was actually still tough, yet our team started acquiring more information, plus our company had the respect of chatting directly with the Center Director, Roy Estess, that assured our team that the ground groups will remain to operate and also guarantee our safety, and also the secure function of the Station. Our company additionally heard from our Administrator, Mr. Goldin, who included that the partners in the Plan are all entirely committed to proceeding secure operations and also help. These were never inquiries for me. I know all these folks! The ground groups have actually been incredibly supporting, very understanding of the impact of the information, as well as have actually tried to be as helpful as possible. They have all been quite professional and concentrated though I can not envision the interruption of the type of information being available in and also the notion that authorities buildings could be in danger. They never skipped a beat, also when moving nerve center. And also a group of senior personnel and close friends provided us a rather detailed instruction on what was recognized as well as what was being performed in the government and at NASA on Tuesday mid-day, which was extremely helpful and sort of them to do in the midst of all the chaos. The Russian TsUP has actually likewise been encouraging and beneficial, trying to uplink news articles when our very own assets were unusable, as well as claiming kind phrases ...My crewmates have been wonderful, too. They recognize it is actually been actually a challenging day for me and also the folks on the ground, as well as they have actually made an effort to be as even keeled and valuable as achievable. Michael also fixed me my favored Borscht soup for dinner. And also they give me loads of area to assume when I required it. They are actually incredibly supportive as well as obviously shocked at whoever would do this.I recognize a lot of individuals in Washington, plenty of people who take a trip to DC as well as NYC, so many who are aviators, that I really felt certain I would certainly obtain at least a few parts of trouble over the following handful of times. I acquired the 1st one today when I learned that the Leader of the American Airlines jet that attacked the Pentagon was actually Chic Burlingame, a friend of mine. I met Chic during cadet summer when our experts remained in the D&B together, as well as our company possessed bunches of courses together. I can't visualize what he needs to of looked at, and also right now I hear that he may possess climbed even more than our team may even consider by perhaps preventing his airplane from being the one to attack the White Home. What a horrendous loss, however I make sure Chic was actually dealing with fearlessly throughout. And tears don't move the very same precede ...It's hard to describe just how it really feels to be the only United States completely off the world each time such as this. The feeling that I need to exist with each one of you, coping with this, aiding somehow, is frustrating. I understand that our company get on the threshold (or even past) of a terrible shift in the history of the globe. Numerous factors will certainly never be the same again after September 11, 2001. Not only for the manies thousand and hundreds of individuals straight had an effect on by these ghastly actions of terrorism, but perhaps for we all. Our experts will certainly find our own selves really feeling in a different way about lots of traits, consisting of perhaps room expedition, sadly.It's awful to observe smoke cigarettes putting coming from injuries in your very own nation coming from such an excellent perspective. The dichotomy of being on a space probe dedicated to strengthening live on the planet as well as enjoying life being actually destroyed by such planned, horrible actions is actually jolting to the mind, regardless of who you are. And the understanding that everything will certainly be different than when we launched due to the time we land is a little bit of disconcerting. I have confidence in our nation as well as in our management that our team will carry out every thing achievable to better defend her and our loved ones, and to deliver fair treatment wherefore has been actually performed. I have peace of mind that the excellent people at NASA will certainly perform everything needed to continue our objective carefully as well as return our team securely at the right time. As well as I overlook each one of you very much. I can't be there with you in person, and also our experts have a very long way to visit complete our objective, yet be actually particular that my center is with you, and recognize you reside in my petitions.Submissively, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An update to the last letter ... Thankfully, it's been a hectic full week up here. As well as to confirm that, like our nation, our experts are continuing our designated course with business as usual (as much as possible). Tonight the current enhancement to the place, the Russian Docking Area will definitely be actually released from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Sunday evening (US time), it will definitely dock with our company, at a port never used before on the low point edge of the Solution Component. This brand new element will give our team one more location to dock a Progression or even Soyuz and also will definitely supply a large airlock along with 2 able to be used hatches for conducting EVA's in Russian Orlan matches, which our company will certainly carry out a few of before our company get home.The issue before in coping with this week was inadequate information. The problem right now is actually excessive. It came all at once when e-mail was brought back, and there is actually not enough time to review everything! Plus it's as well hard to take care of all of it instantly. Yet I cherish receiving it, as well as I truly cherish the terrific letters of help as well as friendly relationship I am actually acquiring.Our team are flourishing on board, receiving our work done, and referring to things. Last night our company possessed a long conversation over supper about the importance of these activities, the achievable actions to follow, as well as what need to be actually done. After dinner, Michael resolved informing me that every e-mail he acquired coming from close friends in Russia claimed specifically to inform me just how sorry they were actually that this happened, extending their acknowledgements, and inquiring how I was carrying out. Vladimir taught me the Russian term for "condolences" after talking to the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Star Metropolitan area. (Both the Russian and also the English terms are actually much too lengthy to verbalize conveniently.) Extremely types people.For the final two times, the Russian MCC has actually sufficed to send online programs of broadcast news about the occasion and also linked accounts, to make certain I was properly updated. Every expert who has actually begun free throw line to review a procedure or a trouble has at some aspect prolonged hellos to me along with kind phrases. Tonight the Russian capcom told our team that because of the wedding day of remembrance in the United States, all day individuals had been bringing flowers and also lining all the walls of the United States consular office in Moscow, and this evening they were actually igniting candles in the road outside the consular office. Just how the globe has modified.Individuals almost everywhere appear to acknowledge the senselessness as well as terror in this particular strike. And also the tremendous reduction. Moscow has actually dealt with these sort of problems in the final couple of years with condo and also subway bombings, so they are as anxious to eliminate this danger as our experts are actually. Yet the bottom product line is that there are good individuals all over that would like to reside in calmness. I go through that a little one talked to, "America is so great to various other nations, our experts regularly aid everyone, how can they despise us so much?".I hope the instance of teamwork and also rely on that this space probe and all the people in the program demonstrate daily are going to someday motivate the remainder of the globe to work similarly. They must!Sadly, our company won't be actually piloting over the US while folks are actually igniting candle lights. Do not recognize if our company might see that in any case. Our team carried out, having said that, observe an incredibly unique and lovely attraction a couple of mins ago: the launch of our Docking Compartment on a Soyuz enhancer. Our experts were overtaking it and it appeared about three minutes after its launch from Baikonur as the sunlight reached our terminal, so it was actually still at night. It appeared like a large comet with a straight, large rear silhouetted against the darker planet beneath. Despite some negative lighting fixtures for some time as the sunlight hit our window at a low perspective, I dealt with some video of it as first our team passed the rocket, and afterwards viewed it begin to mesmerize as it gained altitude as well as speed. I shot up until principal motor cutoff and booster splitting up occurred equally as our experts moved toward sunup on the Himalayas. A memorable attraction in an extraordinary full week ...Lifestyle goes on, also precede. We are actually right here to remain ... Frank.